Prompt: Write about your New Year’s resolutions/intentions.
New Year’s Intentions
I’m not going to set myself up for resolutions this year, like lose “X” number of pounds or exercise “X” number of minutes a day. Those things never seem to work, even my hubby found an article that said something like less than 5% of people stick to their yearly resolutions, with most giving up on them within a month of making them. Rather, I’d like to frame this up as intentions I have for 2024, my aims or plans, and sure that may entail some behavioral improvements I need to make, but it seems less onerous than a typical resolution.
My top intention this year is to take steps to manage my anxiety disorder better. This is most likely going to entail getting a new talk therapist, one who specializes in certain therapeutic techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and eye movement therapy to process trauma. I will have to leave my current therapist, who I have been working with for 7 years. Unfortunately, I’m not currently getting the tools I need to manage my anxiety, and I’m compelled strongly to make a change, even though it pains me deeply to part ways with someone who is a big part of my current treatment team.
Saying goodbye to someone who you have seen week in and week out for 7 years is going to be extremely difficult. I’m not sure if I will chicken out and ultimately not do it, even though I have already located a new therapist and I’m meeting him for an initial assessment next week. I haven’t told my current therapist that I’ve made this appointment, rather I’m waiting to see if I like this new therapist and whether he can help me or not. So I guess I’m kind of in between things right now, and it feels uncomfortable, yet I’ve got the ball rolling here in the first week of the New Year.
The next intention I have will hopefully spring from the work I do on my anxiety. I hope to be able to start attending some AA meetings in person, and then doing some service work like working as a greeter for the meeting, maybe helping with coffee or clean-up. It seems like something so simple to do, yet I’ve been mostly trapped inside my house, scared to go out save take the dog on a short walk. I know I need to start moving more, no one is keeping me trapped here but myself. So I intend to start pushing myself more, starting small of course and building from there.
Finally, I hope to continue to keep my cool as my husband and I continue to navigate his mother’s dementia and deteriorating condition. My husband is under considerable stress and it is my intention to be as strong a support to him as I can. Sometimes that means simply having a tasty home cooked dinner waiting for him when he returns from visiting his mom. Other times it means not burdening him with all my worries and anxious thoughts about catastrophic future scenarios, rather saving that talk for my therapist. I will be working hard in 2024 to stand by my man, he’s one of my top priorities.
So that’s my 2024 plan, new therapist, in-person AA meetings and service work, and marital support. I’m sure other things will come into play, they always do, and I hope to roll with whatever changes come my way. Bring on the New Year and all that. I’ve got my goals ready. And I know as always to take things one day at a time. Happy New Year all.
