Writing Prompt: Attention Kroger Shoppers

Prompt: Write about your experience with a favorite neighborhood restaurant or store.

Attention Kroger Shoppers

My week wouldn’t be complete without my usual run to our local Kroger in the Brewery District. It’s my second home of sorts, I’ve got all the aisles memorized so I can find what’s on my list pretty effortlessly. My shopping list, now that’s something humorous to note, I’m one of those people who still writes everything down on a piece of notebook paper, I’m unwilling to use the Notes App on my phone. That’s too complicated. Yes, I troll the aisles of my Kroger with one hand on my cart, the other holding the notebook paper list. Whatever works, I guess.

I have a method for my shopping at Kroger, I always start in the produce section, then move forward as follows: Cheese section then deli; seafood and meat section; bread section, and then cover all the canned and boxed goods in the aisles. Next dairy, then frozen vegetables and frozen breads. And finally eggs, yogurt and if I want to splurge, I’ll buy ice cream.

Sometimes I’ll deviate slightly from this order, like if I need to buy napkins or shampoo, flowers or a greeting card. But mostly I stick to the same route through the store, moving slowly but with purpose. I do tend to people watch in Kroger, and sometimes I’ll strike up a conversation with someone if I see them putting interesting items in their cart. Like ask them what they are cooking, or if they recommend a certain product.

I do notice that most folks in my Kroger are only buying a few things, whereas I’m wheeling a big cart full of stuff. Perhaps they come more frequently to the store than me, with my once a week shop. Or maybe people around me just don’t cook that much, or perhaps they are getting groceries delivered. Who knows. But for the most part when I go to my Kroger in the early afternoon on a weekday it’s not crowded at all and I like that.

When it comes to checking out, I really don’t like those self-serve check outs where you scan and bag everything yourself. So I’ll go and wait in the one line my Kroger has with a cashier and hopefully a bagger assisting. I’m never in a rush, I just patiently wait for my turn, when I place my items on the belt in an orderly fashion. Frozen items up first, then refrigerated ones, then cans and miscellaneous items and lastly all my produce to be weighed and rung up. I present any coupons if I have them and have my Kroger card scanned. Then pay my bill, which hopefully isn’t too steep but with inflation who knows.

So that’s my Kroger experience, something I do weekly, regardless of weather conditions. Gotta keep the refrigerator full so I can get food on the table for my husband and myself. I’m glad my Kroger is nearby, only 5 minutes away by car, so if I forget something on my list I can easily pick it up later. Do you shop at a Kroger too? I’d love to hear about your grocery shopping experience if you’d like to share!

Why My Med Tweaks Don’t Work

 Ok, so for the third time, I tried tweaking my anxiety medication (Gabapentin) down on my own because I didn’t like the sedation it was causing. It was a disaster, I started calling mom in the morning, gripped in panic and fear and she just couldn’t help me. Why I don’t learn my lesson I don’t know, so here we are, I’ve added the 800 mg. Gabapentin back to my daily dose and yes, I’m now feeling blessed relief from anxiety in the morning. 

I need to just stop trying to take matters into my own hands. I need to stop fighting the meds, just accept the side effects. If I’m sedate, I’m sedate, if all I can muster is a two block walk then so be it. I signed up to use a warm water pool two days a week but if I’m terrified of having a fainting incident then maybe it’s not the right place for me right now.

The fact is I had a very upsetting fainting incident a month ago which included coming to and vomiting and going to the ER in the squad. I’ve since quit nicotine gum, even though my doctors can’t pinpoint the gum as a cause for my faint. Without knowing a definitive cause, I’m frightened I’ll faint again and that’s causing me to limit trips from home. I want to isolate, and I know that’s terrible for me. 

I’m going through nicotine withdrawal which is screwing up my sleep, plus I’m feeling physically off, just don’t feel well. Not nauseous per se but no appetite, kinda run down, just feel poorly. I’m assuming all this will pass? I don’t know. I talk to Dr. Levy tomorrow, I see Dr. Schumacher next week and I can ask them. I have expectations of feeling much better than this, and it’s not like I want to go back to the nicotine gum but damn, I’m tired of feeling like shit.

My 50s have been horrible, don’t mean to put all this negativity out here but it’s how I feel right now. I’ll feel better after I eat brunch and settle into the afternoon. It’s Labor Day today, a holiday, time to relax and be free from worry and angst. I hope I feel better soon. Deep breath, Melissa. Stay in today and let whatever you do today be enough.

Writing Prompt: The ABCs of Gratitude

 Prompt: Write about gratitude.

ABC (Always Be Contemplating) Gratitude 

I’ve been out of sorts lately, restless, irritable and discontent, and that calls for sitting down and drawing up a Gratitude List. It’s amazing how things always tend to look better after I’ve taken time to contemplate what I am grateful for in my life. I first learned about the Gratitude List exercise from my time in AA but I’ve since learned that lots of different organizations and avenues call on people to jot down what they are grateful for. It’s a powerful exercise and I’m glad I’m familiar with it. 

So here we go, today I’m extremely grateful for:

1. My Sobriety. This always comes first on any gratitude list I do, for everything hinges on my sober life. I treasure my sobriety and work hard to protect it. 

2. My family support, particularly from my husband Michael, and mom Wendy. Both have stood by my side as I struggle through management of my bipolar and anxiety disorders. I’m very lucky to have their support. 

3. Sponsor Shawn and the AA community. Thank goodness Shawn came into my life 4 years ago. I’ve had much personal growth as we’ve slowly been working through the Steps. Shawn has also made it possible for me to meet fellow folks in AA by hosting his Monday night Zoom and having various holiday gatherings at his home. I’m deeply grateful for Shawn and the AA fellowship.

4. To have a roof over my head, plus to live in the historic, picturesque German Village neighborhood. 

5. For food on the table, and to be able to indulge in my passion for cooking.

6. My Mental health stability and treatment team including my psychiatrist and talk therapist. Being dually diagnosed with bipolar disorder and alcoholism means I have to work extra hard to manage my life, and I’m blessed to have top notch mental health practitioners to work with who help keep me sane and sober. For me, I need to be medicine compliant, following directions or else everything falls apart. I’m done living in the unstable world of substance abuse and tinkering with meds. I’m living a life now where mental health treatment compliance and sobriety are of upmost importance. I’m grateful I see that now, and the chaos from years past is over.

7. Female friendships outside of AA. I like to keep a somewhat active social life going with local friends I have. I enjoy having coffee or lunch or dinner with friends. I’m working hard not to be isolated, even though sometimes I get anxious about going out. 

8. My Basset Hound Lily who is like a child to me. 

9. To be retired. My time is mine to spend as I choose. Enough said.

10. And lastly, I’m deeply grateful for this writing group. This is a place where I can freely express myself in a way I love: the written word. We have built a wonderful space for fellowship and sharing. I’m honored to be a part of this community.