Prompt: Write about the oldest person you know. How have they influenced your life?
Definitely one of the oldest people I know is my 85 year old mother, Wendy. She’s one of my major support persons, I have been calling her every morning for the past decade as I’ve been building a sober, med-compliant life here. My mother has over 40 years sobriety herself, so she’s a big inspiration to me in that regard. While my own experiences with sobriety have included lots of relapses, she’s been painstakingly consistent with racking up an extremely long sober life. I cherish the day in 2024 when I gave her a 40 year anniversary AA coin.
The thing about my mom that I count on the most is knowing when I call her, she most likely will be there to pick up the phone and provide support. This has been crucial, particularly during my long, recent journey through breast cancer treatment. I do not take for granted how lucky I am to have my elderly mom alert and extremely capable of providing soothing support when I need it. And since we live in the same city, I’m able to visit with her often and do things like go to dinner, or just spend time with her in her home talking.
My mom devoted her life to being a housewife and raising her three children. Although she never had a professional career, she made sure her two daughters had careers and tasted independence before settling down and getting married. My mom had an active volunteer life, working to provide donations to the impoverished and also for years was a docent at the art museum and led educational tours for schoolchildren from across the city.
She was married to my father Charlie for 48 years, until he passed away from bone cancer at age 68. I have always wanted to emulate her strong relationship with my father. Since he passed, my mom has successfully carved out an active, independent life, managing her affairs herself and doting on her three children, five grandchildren, and two great grandchildren.
She’s a voracious reader, an intellectual, and loves a good philosophical discussion. These days she streams a lot of murder mysteries at night, and is particularly fond of the Danish series, I think because her grandfather emigrated here from Denmark. I always wanted to be as smart as my mom, and it’s been a struggle having to contend with the cognitive difficulties my bipolar meds cause which interfere with things like reading, watching television, and engaging in lively dialogue. I’m not as jovial as mom is, and I get frustrated by that.
“Comparisons are odious!” mom says, when I wail about not being as productive or inquisitive as she is. And “It’s hard being human!” my Mom said to me this morning,
“Let whatever you do today be enough.”
