Writing Prompt: An Ode To Nicotine

 Prompt: Write about a “remember when” scenario.

An Ode To Nicotine 

I’m giving up nicotine gum today. Setting aside an over 12 year habit, meant to be a temporary 6-week step towards giving up cigarettes, but rather I’ve been chewing this gum for years. My husband Michael is joining me in this endeavor, so there will be someone else here going through nicotine withdrawal and all the irritability and bitchiness that brings out.

My main reason for giving up the gum is pretty straightforward: I’ve been having fainting spells, and the only reasons my doctors can identify as a cause for them is I was feeling anxious and I was chewing the gum. So that’s it, I’m quitting the gum. But we will also be saving a lot of money by not buying it anymore, and that pleases my frugal husband immensely. 

Nicotine and I have had a long love affair. I had my first cigarette at around 10 or 11 years old when a friend of mine and I stole one out of a pack of my mom’s and hid in the family station wagon in the garage and used the car lighter to light the smoke. We took turns dragging on it, feeling dangerous and heady and giggling. At age 16, I was buying clove cigarettes at the gas station. By age 18, I was buying packs of Marlboro Lights and I would build up to a two-pack a day habit. I’m old enough that I remember smoking on airplanes, smoking in bars, in restaurants, and even in the offices where I worked. And I definitely remember smoking in AA meetings.

I remember sneaking around trying to hide my cigarette smoking from my husband when he insisted I stop smoking and switch to the nicotine gum. The behavior was very similar to the sneaking around I did with booze towards the end of my drinking career, hiding wine bottles and after chugging down contents, tossing the empty bottles in the neighbor’s trash can.

They say that quitting nicotine is harder than settling aside alcohol. To prepare to say goodbye to this four decade old habit, my husband and I have purchased regular gum, hard candy, and sugary soft drinks. As I sit here, chewing my last piece of nicotine gum, I’m honestly feeling relief  and feeling optimistic about a more healthy future. Check in with me tonight though when I’m in the throes of withdrawal and things might not be as rosy. 

But it’s goodbye to you, nicotine, thanks for the memories, some not so good. You’re a hard habit to break, but it’s time for you to go. Thank goodness I have my husband here beside me joining me in this effort. And I’m grateful to have the experience of quitting alcohol to lean into right now. As always, it’s gonna be a one day at a time endeavor. I look forward to the promises coming true, especially knowing a new freedom and a new happiness. Getting ready to chew the sugar free peppermint gum now. Wish me luck! Adios nicotine. Our time is done.