Back to a Routine

 So I’m slowly working my way back to a routine, after being majorly disrupted last month with an ankle injury and increase in thyroid medication that set my anxiety off. I got back to the pool for exercise class yesterday and it was great! People actually missed me, and said how happy they were that I was back. I told them I was so glad to be back.

Saw Matt today, after three weeks of no appointments in January. When I don’t have my therapy I’m a mess! We had a very telling discussion of how I perceive myself as abnormal when in actuality I’m normal like everyone else. I think because I have bipolar I feel less than, and disabled, and freakish due to the manic psychosis I have experienced. But today I’m sane, and taking my medication religiously, and I’m fine. I need to work on trusting this steady state more.

I’m having coffee with friend Julie next week. I have dinner plans this weekend with mom, my sister and my niece. For Valentine’s Day, Michael and I are going to a new French restaurant downtown. I’m going to the hair salon beforehand for a cut and color. I want to do something different, like get a shag haircut or something wild. I’m approaching 60 and it’s time for something different.

On the AA front, I’m keeping up with my writing group and attending meeting Zooms on Sunday and Monday. I haven’t been seeing sponsor Shawn as regularly as we used to. I hope we can get back in the groove of meeting once a week. Perhaps if I were more focused on my Step work we would have a more regular meeting schedule? 

I must admit it is the dead of winter, and hibernating inside does feel appealing. But I will continue to try and stay active. It’s good for my mood and to keep anxiety controlled. Having a routine of activities is so important for me. When I don’t have things going on I get squirrely and extremely uncomfortable. I’m glad I’m moving in the direction of getting a routine reestablished. Things got dicey in January. Glad that’s over!