Relief? New Changes

 Hello there reader(s), I report I’ve made changes to my morning routine and I’m feeling better! Morning anxiety isn’t plaguing me as much, which is a blessed relief! Here’s what I’m doing:

I am now drinking only two cups of Starbucks “Half Caff” in the morning. I go on a 10-minute walk after my first cup of coffee. I have a banana sometimes before the walk, sometimes after. I do the walk even on mornings when I have the pool class. This combined reduction in caffeine and increased movement in the morning has really lessened my anxiety. Both were suggested by my friend Julie, yet Dr. Levy has been after me to exercise for 8 years.

I told Matt I wanted to shower more frequently so he suggested bathing on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ve been experimenting with the Sunday and Wednesday but have yet to include the third day, Friday. But today is Friday so I’m thinking I will get in and rinse off, so I have something to report to Matt next week. Plus it makes sense since I’m in the pool Tuesdays and Thursdays and I should be washing the chlorine off my body.

It was difficult for me to admit I needed help bathing more than once a week. I feel ashamed that I am not taking better care of my hygiene. Michael doesn’t feel like it’s a problem; but I’m concerned enough that I’m working to implement a change in habits.

 I’m also starting now to brush my teeth in the morning as well as at night. I have been doing nightly brushing for a long time (with repeated prompts from Michael). It’s so tempting to go down the rabbit hole of trying to figure out WHY I struggle so much to brush my teeth and shower. I’m not depressed (I don’t think), so it must be the meds making things difficult. But as Matt would say, who gives a fuck about the Why, let’s focus on changing things, improving things.

I’m almost weaned off the Simply Sleep I was taking during that awful period of high anxiety I just went through. The media has been abuzz about how these OTC aids like Benedryl cause dementia; I asked Dr. Levy about it and he didn’t really believe that was true. He said using the sleeping aids sparingly and in small amounts was ok. My PCP Dr. Schumacher said the same thing. I think it’s best right now to be off of it. So that’s what I’m doing.

I’m having a productive day of doing laundry and organizing kitchen cabinets. Tonight I’m making roasted salmon with cherry tomatoes and shallots, along with an eggplant and cucumber stir fry. At least my cooking has remained a constant all throughout my bipolar and anxiety journey. I need to remember it’s like mom says, we all have assets and liabilities. Things we can do and things we can’t (or don’t want to) do. 

Let’s live just for today, keep it One Day At a Time. I do best when I live this way. Stay in the present, Melissa. Have a good day.