A Day Of Celebration!

The gears are starting to turn!

Woke up this morning and I know the "click" is coming. I've already made the commitment to go back to work and I am feeling so much better and grounded today. Deep sigh on my end. This has been a long, stressful summer and I feel like I can finally relax and enjoy what little is left of it.

I also know that we can start ratcheting back the pills and I couldn't be happier about that! I can start making a dent in this 50+ pounds I have gained. That is very, very important to me because it is very painful for me to even walk right now. I'm a butter ball and I don't want to see anyone when I am in this condition. It's embarrassing.

I'm glad I was able to get some posts up here when I was in psychotic mania -- this will be very helpful for me to review if future episodes emerge (which they will). I remember scrawling out notes in prior manias but for the most part it was gibberish. I think this blogging medium helps me to get my thoughts relayed in a more intelligent fashion.

I have returned to Facebook and I am putting up a few posts. Nothing controversial. I try to steer clear from sensational news as best I can. It fires me up and can spark an episode if I'm not careful. I love Facebook because, as a hermit, it connects me to other people. I need this so I don't feel so alone.

Some words on sobriety: I have been sober for almost 2 months. Maybe longer (I've lost track). I think I let you know that I have the dual diagnosis of bipolar disorder and alcoholism. The booze has been a real monkey on my back for a long, long time. I cobble together a few years sober then relapse. Very tough disease to manage, as there is no cure. But you know me -- I'm not giving up. Pass the Iced Tea with some lemon wedges.

My day is open to me. Lots of possibilities. I may try to walk around the park, even if it is painful. I've got to start moving again. Nowhere to go but up. Fortunately, I've been here before. I've got a mountain to climb but I'm equipped with the gear. Plus my climbing partner -- my husband -- has me roped to him in case I slip. I can do this.

Onward, upward. My mantra for today.