Setting Goals: High School Reunion

A big goal I have set for myself this year is going to my 35th High School reunion. I have stayed away from reunions in the past, either sick or too overwhelmed and ashamed of my mental illness. But this year I am feeling good and somewhat confident enough to gather with my classmates for the festivities.

The reunion is at the end of April, so I have some time yet to prepare. I went to an all-girls school with 45 in my class; probably about 25 or so will come. We have a photograph taken on Friday then a brunch at one of my classmate's house on Saturday. I have made arrangements to go to the Friday activity with a classmate I trust, because I am very nervous about going back to the school, the Columbus School for Girls.

Part of the reason this is so hard for me is I am so very different from the Missy that my classmates know from high school. I used to be very outgoing and confident, high energy, creative, such a zest for life. Today I am very introverted, very flat, I don't talk much. My meds are responsible for some of this, but also I have been hospitalized so many times that I have been impacted negatively. I am, however, hoping that as I have more time stable under Dr. Levy's care my self confidence will build.

Another thing that will be hard is I am going through the weekend completely sober. The photo session on Friday is accompanied by a cocktail party and that will be challenging. Then there may be some classmates who want to go out and celebrate and I have to say no to that. But I talked to my mom and she will be available by phone to talk me through tough spots and my husband will be at home waiting for me with open arms.

I guess I need to not overthink this reunion. Just go and have a good time. Find out what classmates are doing. I'm nervous but I've got my therapy sessions to talk it through and my mom to listen when I call. It's going to be okay. I might even have fun!