Ok, so perhaps things were going so well that I thought I should take matters in my own hands and start tinkering around the edges with my Gabapentin. Oh why reader(s), why do I do this time and time again, expecting different results? I just got through an emotional phone call with mom, crying because I was so afraid of an unknown future filled with terrifying images of being broke and alone. Yes, we are back to this again, after I started shaving back the Gabapentin.
I’m also staying up way too late at night reading, and sleeping in til 10 a.m., thus throwing off my Gabapentin dosing schedule. I’m a mess, why should I be surprised, Melissa can you please stop messing with Dr. Levy’s instructions and be an adult and set an alarm to wake you up like everyone else does?
The first order of business is to resume the Gabapentin dosage amount as prescribed, between 8-9 am every morning. Next, I alerted Michael to help me get to bed at 10:00 p.m. every night, help me put down the book I’m reading and head up to bed at the appropriate time. That way I can wake up early and take my Gabapentin at the appropriate time. I need to take back some semblance of control over my schedule, instead of just abandoning any effort to keep to a routine. I want to be the best that I can be, and I have to work at it.
So this here is a note to myself to stop with the tinkering once and for all, and to grow up and start taking responsibility for my routine. Start adulting, Melissa. Please.
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