Writing Prompt: Seasons and Change

 Prompt: Write about the impact seasons have on our mood. What does a season’s change teach us? How do you deal with change?

Seasons and Change

I normally don’t do well with change. I think that’s the alcoholic in me, resistant to implement a change unless things get mighty painful for me. But change in life is inevitable, particularly if we look to the cycle of seasons that occur every year. We’ve got one such change happening soon, with spring segwaying into summer. These seasonal shifts can impact my bipolar mood, lifting me up in spring and bringing me down in the hot summer. 

But ever since I started my new med cocktail and entered sobriety 8 years ago, my mood has for the most part remained steady through seasonal changes. I guess this is a relief, compared to years past when I would be too depressed to leave bed, or way too elevated and running around town in a Spring manic spending spree.

The change in seasons every year teaches me that change is a part of life, something inevitable that I don’t need to fear. Not all change is bad, I actually look forward to Spring and to Fall, relishing the changes to the plants and trees, the temperature outside, and changes in the wildlife around me. Whenever I find myself dreading or resisting an inevitable change in something, I need to remind myself of the positives that often occur. 

Today I can observe the seasonal changes quietly, pensively, and with maturity that comes from slowing down and living life one day at a time. Meds definitely assist in this endeavor, something that occasionally I’ll complain about when I start comparing myself to others who have more motivation and energy than I can muster. But recently I’ve been working on pushing myself where I’m able to, and leaning into acceptance when things overwhelm me. Perhaps I can learn to love this wise, old me who has evolved into an observer instead of a careless extrovert.

I’m hoping to gain more control over my fear of change, and get more comfortable just accepting that change is a part of life. Realizing that I’m not afraid and resistant to all kinds of change (just some) is comforting and gives me encouragement to lower my defenses and embrace new things. I guess I’m a work in progress, but then again aren’t we all? Slowly but surely I’m coming along. Bringing about positive change in myself. The ultimate goal.