Writing Prompt: Non-negotiables

 Prompt: What do you NOT want to change about your life?

Non-negotiables

It seems we are always talking about things we want to change in our lives, what one needs to implement to better oneself. I don’t know about you but I never seem to just be content with the way things are in my life. So this week’s prompt is intriguing, what do I not want to change in my life, and what characteristics about myself have I accepted as desirable and worthy of keeping? 

I took the opportunity to talk to Shawn and my mom about this prompt before I started writing, just to see if they had any ideas for me. Their feedback was interesting and helpful. I loved how Shawn told me I’m someone who doesn’t want to change their priorities of maintaining good mental health and a solid, strong marriage. I call these two things non-negotiable. Let me elaborate on that a bit.

I went through an extremely tumultuous 15 year period between diagnosis of my bipolar disorder and ultimately hitting rock bottom with alcohol and weed use. There were numerous hospitalizations and my marriage almost broke up. Eight years ago I said enough was enough and embraced a new way of living.

Today I prioritize my mental health treatment plan and complete sobriety right up there with the health of my 24 year marriage. I am religiously med compliant, I work on coping skills in my weekly talk therapy sessions. As far as my marriage goes, I strive to be open and honest with my husband, and to never go to bed angry. I’m working on not trying to manipulate and control. We keep communication open, and work to diffuse conflicts. We still have rough patches though, just like everyone else. But we are committed to weathering the storms.

As far as characteristics about myself I don’t want to change, my mom helped me identify a few things. First of all, as I’ve matured in sobriety, I’ve become a very good listener. People open up to me and share what’s troubling them. Often I can provide helpful feedback. As I’ve evolved from extrovert to slightly more introverted, this listening role has taken on more prominence in my life. I think it shows wisdom, and an ability to move beyond self-centeredness. What do you think?

The other thing I wouldn’t want to change is I’m a survivor. I’ve been to hell and back and refused to give up. When you’re hit with the kind of diagnoses I have, the alcoholism and addiction, the bipolar disorder, and the anxiety disorder, things can get mighty overwhelming and dark unless you get a grip on treatment. This didn’t happen automatically for me, I had to go through some extremely challenging times. But I hung in there, acquiring knowledge and experience along the way. I’d say I’m in a good place today. Took me long enough to get here, but I made it.

These are just a few things in my life that are important to me and I don’t want to change. I don’t need to change them, actually. They add positive things to my life. Not everything needs to be changed in order for one to be happy. Are we coming back around to acceptance again? Something to ponder!