Accentuate The Positive!

I decided today that I am going to take some credit for managing my illness so well right now. Well, I share the credit with my husband, who has an eagle eye when it comes to identifying the symptoms of emerging mania. It's Springtime, I'm in the Danger Zone, and I'm doing well. Nice and steady, mood-wise. This is very relieving for me.

Almost three years have gone by since I was last hospitalized (May 2011), and this is indeed something to celebrate. No locked wards, no delusional wandering around Columbus, no fights with my husband because he won't admit he's a secret agent.

My current medicine regime appears to be working well. I am on Depakote and Lamictal for mood stabilization; Invega to control psychosis; Lexapro to address any depression that might crop up; and Ativan to keep my anxiety (and stress) in check. I take my daily "med cocktail" religiously. For the most part, I always have. Pills and skills (from psychotherapy) keep this woman with bipolar disorder on the straight and narrow. Full compliance by me is a given.

I have noticed my weight is creeping up from the recent increase in my Depakote. But I am going to try to not worry about that. I guess I'd rather have mental stability over a skinny body. My husband doesn't seem to mind how I look. So I probably shouldn't mind either. But you know we women -- particularly those like me in middle age -- we want to look sexy and desirable. I did go do some clothes shopping today and found some cute clothes that accentuate my body in a positive way. Hopefully wearing them eases my worries about my weight.

I had a good day at work today. Functioning well and getting my on-going tasks done. I think all of my colleagues now know I have bipolar disorder, but they really don't appear to treat me any differently. Of course, I don't know what is said about me behind my back, but I'll just trust that it's complimentary.

I continue to crank out fabulous gourmet dinners for us every night. I've been on an Asian cuisine kick lately, making ramen and for tonight, a kimchi and tofu stew. I may try to prepare tempura later in the week. For the most part, I cook a different dinner every night of the year. I enjoy cooking so very much. It's a gift that evolved from my disorder and I'm grateful for it.

So all in all, I'm doing quite well tonight. I treasure each day I am stable. This is not to stay I don't have lingering obstacles to overcome, but the more stable days I can string together, the stronger I get. I'm thankful for today, and have high hopes for tomorrow.