Mem-ries

My memory is fuzzy and I blame the Risperdol. But I also had that ECT in October 2016 and that impacted my memory as well. I'm wondering though: I'm 51 and is it normal and natural to be forgetful about things? I am struggling to remember what happened to me these past 16 years since my diagnosis in February 2002. I know there were good times--my husband and I took several road trips out West--and sadly, bad times spent in hospitals and at home recovering. But everything feels like a blur, distant..is that normal? I don't know.

There is one thing I must remember and that is to take my meds. Mom got me a pill container last year (can you believe I was just popping the pills from the bottle for years...no organization...how did I keep things straight?) and it is placed prominently on my kitchen counter.

My current meds are:

Risperdol (anti-psychotic)
Depakote (mood stabilizer)
Neurontin (for anxiety)
Water pill
Antabuse (for alcoholism)
Synthroid (for Graves disease)

I also take an over-the-counter sleeping pill every night. I've been taking one for awhile...I'm not exactly sure why. Dr. Levy wanted me to stop taking them but I haven't been following his instructions. I guess I want to make sure I get to sleep and stay asleep. With the sleeping pill I can ensure I'm asleep by 9:00-9:30 p.m. and awake at 7:00 a.m. I don't think I've had this kind of a steady, solid sleep pattern for years.

I also remember the advice from a former therapist to bathe every day. I am taking showers regularly and soaking in the tub from time to time. In the past, this was very difficult. I'm so happy I'm keeping myself clean. It's something those who don't have a mental illness take for granted. I think I'll make a list of my victories:

1. Cook for husband, myself and the basset hounds
2. Bathe regularly
3. Do laundry/change sheets
4. Blogging again
5. Working with Dr. Fetter in therapy
6. Walk dogs (exercise!)
7. Reconnecting with friends slowly
8. Activities with mom (musical performances, theater, art museum, films)

I'm sure there are other things but these are the most important. So I'm building back a life. And now the sleeping pill is kicking in and it's hard to keep my eyes open. Up to bed I must go. Good night all. More at a later time.