Ok, so it’s very well known that bipolar meds, particularly antipsychotics, cause a lot of weight gain. Me personally, I’m carrying about 40 lbs. extra weight, and at my height I was carrying about 80 lbs. I have fretted and moaned about weight gain for over two decades, and I have done some pretty drastic things to get the weight off. I’ve engaged in 8-month liquid diets, and starved myself on highly restrictive keto diets. In all instances, I dropped a lot of weight yet always, each and every time, ended up hospitalized in manic psychosis, and ultimately gained all the weight back.
I read a very disturbing article recently extolling the virtues of the keto diet for people on bipolar meds. I’m here to tell you, for me, drastically reducing carbohydrates has made me nuts. Literally. I’m not sure if this is because I have the thyroid disorder, Graves’ disease, or if it’s because my brain actually needs carbs to stay healthy. But the fact remains if I just allow myself to have reasonable amounts of pasta, rice, potatoes and bread I stay out of the nut hut.
Now, I must be totally honest with you that I caught sight of my body in the mirror the other day and that old thought popped into my head that I need to start restricting carbs again. It’s like I forget all the trauma I went through when I restricted in the past, all the disruption to my life, my marriage, all of that is forgotten in the name of seeing the number on the scale drop lower and lower. I’m getting sick typing this out, perhaps I can harness this feeling and yank myself back into sanity.
For whatever reason, for this bipolar, accepting and staying at this weight where my meds have me settled out right now is the key for me staying sane. My husband and I have a good, balanced diet, where traditional carbs are incorporated into every meal, I just make sure to watch my portion size. I don’t measure or count calories. I do weigh myself, but something like once every two weeks. I do wear kinda baggy clothes to hide my body—but I’ve been trying recently to get more form-fitting things that are more flattering.
Dr. Levy says if I want to safely shed some pounds, increase my cardio. Well, I keep fighting that advice, so there you have it. I guess for now I’ll keep working towards acceptance of my curvy figure. This is the hand I’m dealt with, no use fighting it. I have to use acceptance for a lot of things associated with my bipolar disorder. It’s hard, but I’m working towards peace.
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