Dear readers I end 2018 with some uplifting news: I am able to listen to Audiobooks, opening up a whole world of books to listen to--books I wanted to read but could not thanks to the Depakote or whatever meds are hampering my ability to sit with an actual book. I've tried, it hurts to read; earlier this year my therapist recommended audiobooks to me and I finally got down to getting a few on my iPad. It's wonderful! I'm so excited!
I am currently listening to "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott, who offers up instructions on writing. I definitely want to get into the suggested routine of writing every day for one hour--maybe I can break through my writer's block. Now that my Risperdol has been lowered slightly I feel more alert and able to come here and compose sentence by sentence; paragraph by paragraph.
The other audiobooks I got are "Madness: A Bipolar Life" and two books by Kay Redfield Jamison. "Madness" is pretty shocking, Marya the author has a very severe form of bipolar type 1, mixed, rapid cycling, which came on at a very young age, back in the 1970s when bipolar wasn't well-understood. I am finding I feel extremely grateful that my bipolar is not that severe--even though I am scared about my manic-psychotic breaks.
I'm excited about this world of audiobooks. What awaits me? Stimulating my mind after a long dormant period is tantalizing to think about. I did have a nightmare last night of my brother dying and I am wondering if this audiobook stimulation is responsible for this? Since I'm on Depakote I don't really remember my dreams, but this one about Chip was vivid and woke me up in the middle of the night. I didn't like it.
I find I want to reach out to other bipolars and those on meds who find they can't read books and tell them about audiobooks. I told Dr. Levy about them. I wonder if he is telling other patients he treats. I wish it hadn't taken me this long to discover them; but given the strong dose of anti-psychotic medicine I was on previously, I guess I wasn't ready for the audiobooks until now.
Well, I will continue my listening, and broadening my education. I'm thrilled with this. Progress!
No comments:
Post a Comment