So I had a crappy night’s sleep, couldn’t fall asleep til midnight, then up at 5:00 a.m. and unable to go back asleep. Haven’t had one of these disruptions in awhile, so I guess I’ve been fortunate. Pass the coffee, and nicotine gum, and I’ll try to gut through this first day of a 6-day heatwave descending upon the city.
To combat the sedation and muddled feeling I have from the elephant dose of Gabapentin I’ve been taking for my anxiety, Dr. Levy gave me the AOK to reduce my noontime dose down 400 mg. I started that two days ago and I do feel clearer-headed. No fear or panic in the morning, so I’m grateful for that. I’m keeping a close eye on things, which in a way gets tedious and prevents me from just living life; but that’s the thing with crippling anxiety, it debilitates you.
But fortunately my status right now is the bipolar is under control; the catastrophic thinking has been arrested; I’m managing to keep up with my cooking and some miscellaneous chores. My husband is doing a lot of the chores I let fall by the wayside, so that’s good, we haven’t descended into complete disarray. I continue to devour the romance novels but I’m taking a deviation into more challenging stuff. I’m joining a book club with the gals from my old swim group.
What’s left to navigate this week is the heatwave; I’ll be staying indoors in the AC and either streaming Netflix or reading. I’m planning on serving cold dishes for dinner, so I’m not slaving over a hot stove. If my life sounds boring it’s because right now it kinda is. It’s safe, it’s predictable, and honestly I like it that way.
Ok that’s it for now, I’m too exhausted to write any more. Stay cool and all that. Later.
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