Bed Head

Good evening. I've been in bed for hours and hours...I think I've slept 16 of the past 24 hours. It certainly seems like I am depressed -- I only stay in bed like this when the dark monster has me in its grips. And I don't want to shower and I have no appetite. Is this depression -- and is the Latuda to blame?

Yes, I do have bipolar disorder and that means one swings from the poles of depression and mania. But Dr. Z's med prescription for me always kept me out of depression. Dr. Blair (at the hospital) suggested the Latuda for my psychosis and depression. Who is right?? Folks, I don't like this. Stop the ride, I want to get off!

I can imagine you are probably utterly confused by all of this, because I certainly can't make heads or tails of it myself. I have an appointment with Dr. Z in two days and I am going to put myself in his hands to sort through this situation. I cling to the Latuda because it is helping me lose weight, but these side effects -- particularly the depression-like symptoms -- are intolerable.

Let's back up and let me list my meds that I take to keep me stable. I have Bipolar Type 1 with psychotic features:

1. Mood stabilizers (Depakote, Lamictal)
2. Anti-psychotics (Latuda, Haldol)
3. Anti-depressant (Latuda, 10 mg. Lexapro)
4. Anti-anxiety (Ativan)
5. Thyroid medication (Synthroid)

My "pattern" is 3-4 years of stability followed by a horrible manic episode in the summer. Repeat. Will I always have this pattern? No matter what med cocktail I am taking? Oh, who knows. My weight goes up and down and it's so very frustrating. I want to be a positive, uplifting person spreading happiness and here I am in a smelly nightgown.

It's my hope Dr. Z can get me relief. If we phase out the Latuda, so be it. I'll take the weight issue over this depression -- any day.