Cobwebs

 Well yawn and all that, I come to you after an interrupted night’s sleep, with me waking up around 2:30 a.m., and coming downstairs and having to take an extra 1/2 Simply Sleep. Then I hit my recliner and slept through til 8:30 a.m. So I’ve had plenty of sleep, but I feel groggy and cobwebby to be sure. I had a strange dream about tussling with friend Jules over the direction of the Wall Street Journal—we were both working for the paper and I think I wanted to be Editor (or some lofty goal like that). And some other employees were playing basketball around us, perhaps a sign that March Madness is around the corner.

I’ve been invited by mom to go to a famous Catholic Church downtown to hear a chorus from Wisconsin perform whilst images of outer space are shown on a big screen near the altar? Sounds kinda bizarre to me yet strangely compelling enough that I think I might go. Now, this is a church I wandered into when I was manic in 2017, and I talked to a priest behind a screen about something I can’t quite remember. I think (and I’m kinda guessing here) I was in the middle of one of my “Spiritual Awakenings” and I needed to connect with a church figure and tell him what I was seeing. I can imagine these priests get a lot of strange, “delusional” folks coming through their doors. I just want to stress with all my might that the vast majority of mentally ill folks are NOT violent (unlike the guy throwing rocks at the synagogue on E. Broad Street that ABC news profiled last night). Me when I’m nuts I just want someone to talk to, and I’ve wandered into a few churches over the years. Would be nice being in this Catholic Church when I’ve got my wits about me.

Today is trash day and I wasn’t organized enough to get “Revelation of the Rat Catcher” out to our bin. I guess I’m scared to see what’s underneath it, I know there are two canvases left and one talks about Lazarus rising and the other has some frightening prophecy (or something like that) I tried to capture. Maybe I just try to scoop all three works into some large black trash bags as best I can, it’s just they are covered in mold and I’m worried I’ll inhale some noxious fumes or something like that. But I’m really believing my quest for inner peace is linked with getting this (offensive) stuff out of here and into the green trash bin, whose I haven’t decided yet, though the neighbor’s across the alley looks most appealing.

I’m continuing to take Lily on our alley walks, though there’s a twinge of sadness that beloved Legs isn’t with us. I must say though Lily is quite the navigator, leading me around the neighborhood as if she’s on her own little quest. Poor Lily, she is still dealing with separation anxiety when Michael and I are away from the house at the same time—it makes me seriously consider getting another Basset, yet something is telling me no, wait. So I haven’t reached out to any adoption agency or breeder yet, even though my heart tells me Lily needs a canine companion.

So here we are on another Wednesday, I have my Zoom with the YMCA pool ladies, which I always enjoy. No real plans for today, maybe read more of my book, or better yet maybe work on the pile of clothes on the floor back by my closet area. Yes, I think I might try my hand at a little organization and see how far I get. It’s terribly difficult getting motivated on this high dose of Risperdal but I’ll try my best. That’s all I can hope for. No self-pity today, let’s work on feeling good about myself. Maybe I try to bathe too? Why not!

OK that’s my report this morning, bring on more coffee, get me ready Higher Power for my day. Adios for now. See you down the road.