A Kindred Spirit?

Seeing as I love to cook, and prepare a different dish for dinner almost 365 days a year, every afternoon around 3:00 p.m. on the dot you will find me at our local grocery store. I know everyone who works there and I really see them as friends. My favorite is Joe, the Irish policeman who watches for thieves (there really aren't any), but most of the time helps out with bagging groceries and bringing shopping carts in the parking lot back into the store. We've become good friends. I have not told him that I have bipolar disorder, but I know he wouldn't care if I did.

Yesterday I met an interesting gentleman. I pulled into the parking lot and grabbed a cart that was outside and began wheeling it towards the entrance. Just outside was the disheveled gent who I said "hello" to. That's just my style.

"The funnel clouds are coming," he said. "Watch out. They are coming for us." I knew immediately he was having a delusion -- I could see it in his eyes -- and I felt a wave of sympathy wash over me. "It's going to be okay," I replied. "Don't worry. I don't think the storm will come."

Now, most of us would probably walk on by this man. Maybe get scared. Engaging him in dialogue would be a real no-no, we think. Does he have a weapon? Will he jump us? Is he on drugs or drunk? Homeless? I can tell you it's my thinking that he has a mental illness, and were he to be on medication, he most likely would not be talking about or seeing funnel clouds. But getting people to take their medication is the real problem. Given all the side effects, many just can't stand it.

I went into the store and leisurely did my shopping. I eat very healthy food now, finding that my mood improves if I have fresh vegetables and fruit and good, lean cuts of meat. I watch my sodium, don't eat frozen food, and try to keep my carbs to a minimum. I have to stay away from all alcohol, particularly given my medication, but this is very, very hard for me. (More about my "dual diagnosis" of bipolar disorder and alcoholism later.)

After paying for my groceries, I wheeled my cart outside towards the car. And there was the gentleman, now roaming, stumbling around the parking lot, talking out loud to no one, more about thunder and devastation and skies opening up. I saw a few people walking towards their cars just staring at him. My immediate, initial thought was I should drive him to a hospital. But then I sighed, knowing that was impossible for me. I can't save everyone. It takes enough energy keeping myself on the straight and narrow.

I guess I relay this little tale to let you know that there's a human being behind those mumblings, those nonsensical ravings. And odds are were they to have and take medication, they would be as stable as you and me. I approach these people with sympathy -- but this is not to say everyone should do this. I just see a "kindred spirit," someone who is experiencing what I experienced. The only thing that separates us is I take my medication.

There were no funnel clouds in my city last night. And of course I knew that would be the case. I slept easy last night and had no nightmares. But I think for Grocery Store Guy that was not the case.