Much Better

Feeling much better today, though things got a little "dicey" for a stretch there yesterday. No suicidal thoughts right now so I'm grateful for that. Watched pro football with hubby, which is new for me. Years past I had no interest whatsoever with the NFL. But strangely, things have changed.

I am, however, feeling very lonely. My best girlfriend is in California for awhile, and I've distanced myself from others -- solely because I am embarrassed by the way our house looks. But I am very pleased to report that a landscaper is coming Tuesday to give me an estimate for yard clean-up and hubby talked with the maintenance company who will be sending someone over this week. I can't wait!!! Finally, finally we can get the exterior under control.

I see myself needing a good deal of time to recover from this episode. My worry is the mania/delusions are alive and well under the helmet of Seroquel/Haldol. You know how much I want to be free of these meds and the prime reason is they cause obesity. I can barely move without pain. I am praying that Dr. Z puts me on new medication.

My sleep is a little choppy -- went to bed last night around 9:00 p.m.; woke up at 2:00 a.m. and stayed awake until 7:00 a.m.; fell back asleep and woke up around 10:45 a.m. I'm a little disoriented to say the least.

Well, that's all for today. I'm just going to rest.