Well good morning, dear reader(s), I am here refreshed after about 12 (!) hours sleep. I feel great and ready for my consult with Dr. Levy this morning. Thinking we spend our 20 minutes talking about sleep, and whether he thinks I can be prescribed something safe to use for intermittent insomnia that seems to plague me after late-night comedy shows? It’s all very strange and I don’t understand it, except it involves vivid dreams that wake me up feeling somewhat rattled? All I know is I’m questioning my use of Simply Sleep every night, it concerns me, and I know plenty of bipolars who are prescribed sleeping aids, so why can’t I get one? We shall see what Dr. Levy says.
Next I meet Arlene for lunch to discuss her Medicare for All group, and whether there is a place for me to perhaps provide some smallish input on mental health reform in this great State of Ohio. I’m actually quite flattered that someone would want to talk to me about it, though I’m unsure if my ideas would be well-received, as I am a big-picture thinker, I was trained to be that way by the University of Maryland where I got my Masters in Public Management. I did not concentrate in Social Policy, rather Environmental Policy, and although my dear Advisor Peter Brown wanted me to adopt a more liberal “flavor” to my studies, I was more firmly conservative. I’m chuckling though, for we did have some lively conversations in his office!
It continues to be chilly outside, but the sun is out today. Michael is eagerly awaiting the quarterly reports of Amazon and Apple on Thursday—for good luck I put a scoop of Starbuck’s Pumpkin coffee in the machine this morning, and I have to say it doesn’t taste too bad. Fingers crossed maybe we get some much-needed good news, and I can get $200 out of my meager Chase account to pay towards my staycation this week-end. I’m not going to ask Michael how things play out for us financially, as it makes me extremely nervous, as you know. I did give him a list of things I must have done in 2023, including chimney repair, paint the trim, get us a new car, and hire house cleaners. I’m also throwing in get all my dental work completed, including teeth whitening, and I may ask dentist Dan to explain to Michael why my teeth need so much work (and perhaps show X-rays).
Michael is angry I bought a new $16 hat for the staycation and I feel terribly guilty for ordering it. I know Fetter would want me to stand up to him, but I always just crumble and say “I’m sorry” and all that groveling shit. I wish we could just win the lotto and he would never complain about my purchases again, but that’s just a pipe dream that will never come true. I hate being poor, I wish I could earn my own money and buy what I wanted without guilt. It’s terrible I can’t, but then again mom feels guilty about everything she buys, and she has money. Oh well, gonna try not to worry about this and by the way, wait for my new Target clothes to arrive today too!
I know I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m not on a manic spending spree, I know those, it happened once before. I’m just trying to feel good about myself for this special week-end, and there’s nothing wrong with that. OK off I go to get ready for my day. Take care all, enjoy the sun if you have it!
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