Redemption Song?

 An early good morning, dear reader(s), I report to you after a night of sleeping in my clothes and having vivid dreams about hooking up with an old high school obsession of mine. His spurned fiancée then tried to burn us down in my old house on E. Broad Street, where we had run down to the basement to flee from that lady’s wrath. Ah dreams, this one inspired undoubtedly by the plethora of intriguing artworks I saw yesterday at our wonderful Columbus Museum of Art. I particularly liked this portrait of ladies of the night trying to woo a scary, ghostlike white figure—reminded me strongly of my wanderlust as an alcoholic in the 1980s and 1990s, and the shame I still feel about that to this day. I definitely need to get my character defects defined through my Fourth Step, so I can get rid of this wreckage from my past.

Our wonderful museum, the young man working the check-in desk took pity(?) on me and granted me free admission, plus let me into the special exhibition of Maurice Sendak’s works, an intriguing collection of drawings, books, videos, a giant rooster, advertisements and the like. I grew up with Sendak, spending hours with “Where The Wild Things Are” and “From the Night Kitchen” (I think that’s the title). I loved seeing the advertisements Sendak did, plus learning a little bit about his life living in a small town in Connecticut, where he didn’t see much sense in traveling away from it. 

I didn’t spend hours and hours at the museum, knowing that I would be back many, many times in the future. I’m going to ask mom for a yearly membership for my birthday. It’s $75 and I can bring a guest and get free parking. I really like the cafe and gift shop, where I purchased several pins (one with the picture of this famous Cezanne). I also picked up some intriguing military camouflage band-aids, which I am going to somehow incorporate into an art piece. I figure between my alley trolling and the museum gift shop I can amass a good deal of stuff for my collages, which I’m doing for myself (winkedy, wink).

I think I would like donating a piece to the museum, my Howard Finster “First Gas Car 1863.” I don’t exactly know if they would accept it, probably would, maybe just catalogue it with all the other strange things that have been donated over the years? Perhaps I’d also throw in my trusty red iPhone, which I’ve already told you I’m never throwing away. Then there’s the photoshopped picture of Rick Nash with mascot Boomer to consider, though that’s past co-worker Glenna Keys’ handiwork, I just coached her on what to create. 

Ah, am I just being bipolar grandiose again, am I completely off my rocker and just don’t realize it? Do I think I’m someone “special” or am I perhaps like the guy in our Sane and Sober AA meeting last night who said in his psychotic mania he thought the CIA was sending messages through the newspaper? Nope, that’s not me, I don’t comb the WSJ looking for the CIA, I find beauty in the actual newsprint, the letters and numbers, the masthead, I like moving words around and making my own poetry, if that makes sense. Why would the government have any interest in me, all I can do is cook and make nonsensical collage art. Not track down cyber-criminals. I’m fairly easy to figure out, my patterns are predictable, I’m revealing myself publicly on this blog (which very few are reading, if any). No, I’m not crazy. I’m just me.

I do have a secret fantasy of commissioning some artist to do a painting of Michael, Lily and I on the porch of our Tennessee Williams home here. I would jump at the chance to have that done. Michael of course would never go for that, so maybe I have to paint it myself. I just need someone to take a photo of us that I can take to Walgreens and have printed, so I have something to work with for the painting. Some students from CCAD stopped by last summer to do sketches of our home—I asked them to email a photograph of their pieces but they never did? A shame, because I wanted to frame them and hang them in the house. Oh well. Yes, I can do a portrait of us, I’ll work on it this summer. I did purchase some paints from Amazon so I might as well use them. Don’t have any plans to go anywhere anyways. Except Memorial Day weekend, when I hope to travel with sponsor Shawn up to Kelley’s Island for an AA retreat.

Speaking of AA, it’s nearing 7:00 a.m., time for the First Things First meeting. I believe on Thursdays it’s Open Discussion, which can be kinda intriguing, depending on the topics. Maybe one of these days I will actually make it to an in-person meeting, not hide behind Zoom, which I have been doing for almost 3 years. I guess I’ve gotten comfortable Zooming in my bathrobe, in my recliner. Fortunately sponsor Shawn isn’t pushing me to come down to the church, I think he knows I’m still not ready yet. I’ll get there in due course. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, it will always materialize if we work for it. 

So I’ve got the meeting, Fetter at 12:30 p.m., then a Blue Jackets game tonight. Full plate for me. Bring on more coffee, no need to take off more heads. Have a good day all.