Well Monday greetings, dear reader(s), I come to you on another Gray Lady Day, but might there be some touches of blue in the sky? Hard to tell this morning, I shall just have to wait and see how the day unfolds. I’m feeling a little zoned out on the Simply Sleep, and definitely think I’ll be able to cut back on the amount I’m taking every night. I’m happy about this, as I don’t like to rely on this OTC pill to keep me asleep every night. So I will talk to Dr. Levy about it this afternoon, and see what he thinks my strategy should be going forward.
I told Michael to contact Edwin the house cleaner about setting up a schedule to come here once a month to clean. March is almost here, Spring is on the horizon, and it’s time to get this place cleaned up as best as we can. I’m not going to beat myself up over my shortcomings with the cleaning—everyone is blessed with certain talents, and alas, mine lie in other endeavors. Certainly being on a high dose of Risperdal prevents one from executing certain tasks with gusto; this includes organizational motivation in my case. No, I’m not saying one should rebel against the meds and throw them out. Rather I believe we have to work with them, work around them, and carve out some semblance of a decent life, to the best of our abilities.
Oh, my dear, dear friend Julie, she is working with me to incorporate better eating habits to have a healthier life. Blessed friend, what a jewel she is, I love you Jules! I tried to explain that my creative juices flow better on an empty stomach, but maybe I might get someplace deeper if I had oatmeal and berries in me first thing in the morning…but who was that artist mom told me about who starved himself so he “accessed” some deeper creative high? Marigault. A modern artist, with a layered perspective, looking for intensity through dietary restriction. Chuckle. I wonder if the Columbus Museum of Art ever displays the work of his they have? Maybe I’ll ask.
Andi’s mother has passed away, and it has me thinking about my relationship with mom, which has definitely had its highs and lows to be sure. One thing I know is my mother has tried her hardest to understand this mental illness of mine, taking NAMI’s family education course as soon as she found out about my diagnosis. She would move back to Columbus full-time to be with me and help me work my way through that horrific period in 2016-2017, when I was psychotic for 9 months, without the aid of a psychiatrist, separated from Michael, completely off my rocker and I even relapsed on alcohol for a few days at that bar at the intersection of Noe-Bixby Road and Main Street. There is no question that this was one of the lowest periods of my life, and my dear mother Wendy was right by my side taking care of me every day.
Let’s do a (non-alcohol) toast to our mothers. I know it’s not Mother’s Day yet, but mom, how I love you, and thank you for so many, many things in my life. I’m going to treat mom to a dinner out later this week, we are going to 94th Aero Squadron for a meal with friend Carol from our YMCA swim group. The old, famous restaurant is set to close in June, and I wanted to get there before that happened. I’m really looking forward to this meal at that quaint place by the airport. Many memories there.
I’ve been going through my emails and there was one from the Smith College Club of Columbus, announcing their gatherings for discussion of books they all read. Me, I have cognitive impairment and can’t really read books, save art books with picture plates. So I really feel left out from the group, wishing they did other activities that someone like me who is disabled could participate in more freely. Ah Smith, guess they are just not interested in me, oh well, there are always my monthly zooms with my Jordan House Smith pals, they get me, and are most inclusive, which I deeply appreciate.
OK, time for me to get ready for my session with Dr. Levy. I feel a touch nervous, as I always do, I don’t know why, really, I guess I just want to be a good, compliant patient who doesn’t have problems. But no, I rely on Simply Sleep, and I want to dial that back so hopefully he can help me. I think he can. Later friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment