Well happy Monday, dear reader(s). I got some sleep (hooray!), no need to call Dr. Levy and arrange an extra session. The extra Simply Sleep is helping me sleep and I think Michael handled Lily’s 2:30 a.m. wake-up call in the middle of the night. She is having problems when we leave her alone—we come home to her panting, I can tell she’s been stressed, worried that we have perhaps left her, not to return. But I believe, in time, she will get used to being alone. There looks to maybe be blue skies this morning, here on President’s Day, 2023. I’m going back to Vets Memorial, this time with my sister, who is interested to see what this museum has to offer. Tops on my list is seeing the artwork in the basement, I missed that part when I went last time. I hope to take it slow today, not rush through, taking plenty of pictures. I’m excited, readers, I love this place, as you know.
I’ve been thinking more about maybe pursuing a volunteer opportunity, but I know I have to watch my stress. I do have my activities with Arlene, including the trip to Athens later this Spring. I’m just not so sure this conservative legislature we have in Ohio is interested in doing anything for mental health reform—I’m talking significant change here—so will I just be spinning my wheels, thinking that honestly anyone in this town has something substantial for me to do? Oh well, back to my trashy artwork I guess.
I’ve been feeling mentally a little out of it, I’m frustrated with the Risperdal, again. Granted, this med does help with my anxiety quite a bit, it’s just I feel kinda blunted, if that makes any sense. Maybe taking a full pill of Simply Sleep is affecting things too. Oh, I wish I weren’t so sensitive to these pills, or honestly, I wish I didn’t have to take them. But oh yes, I do. I know all too well what happens if I start tinkering. Not going down that street ever again.
Back to my art, back to my art show in May. The alleys haven’t been as productive lately as I’ve hoped, so I may have to raid some of the found objects Michael has collected over the years. That does take some of the fun out of my search, but my husband has quite a keen eye when it comes to locating interesting things. Me, I go straight for the trash, he likes the discarded toys, sunglasses, stuff like that. Maybe we are collecting the same thing, it’s all beauty is in the eye of the beholder, typical. I guess Michael wouldn’t mind if I incorporated some of his loot into my work. Think I’ll go for it.
Times like this I wouldn’t mind living in a trashier neighborhood, but we took a somber drive up S. Parsons yesterday after brunch and I saw firsthand how some people are living, crammed in tiny box houses with huge power lines in the front yard. It was really sobering to think that could be me living in one of those places, I’d definitely be looking at that were I to be eeking it out on my disability check alone. Yes, things could be so much worse, I’m infinitely blessed to be sure. Yes, I’m grateful for my view out my hospital window, to the alley and the two old, not so well-maintained houses. I don’t feel pressured to be perfect, in fact I feel that having imperfections is a beautiful thing to be sure.
I picked up some interesting nuggets at last night’s AA meeting, including it’s time to stop judging our insides by other people’s outsides, and time to stop the comparison game. I’m going to try really hard to not take the snubs I perceive by some of the people walking around here, not judge the chilly women who automatically make me feel uncomfortable, because who in the world knows what’s going on with them, and I’d rather just continue to be my kind, outgoing self anyways. I will for the record say that I’ve met some very nice women neighbors along my way, so special hat tip to them.
Yes, it’s blue skies this morning, I think I’ll have eggs for lunch. Carpe Diem, everyone. This be today’s verse.
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