To Diet Or Not To Diet

 Good morning reader(s), I’m still here, just been getting a lot of sleep and waking up at 9:00 a.m. Then it takes time for me to caffienate the cobwebs away, and the next thing I know the morning is gone and it’s time to get out for the day. I finally see Fetter in person today (hooray!) and it’s an absolutely glorious day with temps approaching 80. I feel good, calm, no real anxiety to speak of right now. The Covid crud is mostly gone, it’s Day 16 for me and I’m back to normalcy. I think it’s safe to finally cut the Simply Sleep back to 1/4 a pill, and maybe pull back on the decaf coffee after dinner. We shall see.

I got on the scale last night for the first time since around October 10th or so last year, before I completely became undone and had to go to the hospital. I was actually delighted to see I have only gained 6 lbs. since my Risperdal was increased from 1.25 mg/day to 4 mg/day, where it has remained for almost 5 months. I am going to begin watching my calories and portion sizes again, in an attempt to resume losing some weight. This time though I am going to take it slow—not drop 30 lbs. in 3 months like I did before, rather try to lose 30 lbs in 12 months, as my family doctor suggests.

I read that I need to work to incorporate complex carbohydrates, fruits and veggies, eat protein in the morning if I am to keep an eye on anxiety while dieting. I think that’s where I got into trouble in the past, I wasn’t eating the right things and my anxiety got stoked and spiraled out and I got unstable. I also think in my last rodeo with dieting I put myself into ketosis and that really screwed things up. In my opinion keto diets are absolutely awful for people with bipolar disorder, though I’m not sure if there is any research backing up this statement. It’s just from personal experience, for me, ketosis led to anxiety and ultimately the nut hut. So let’s stay away from that, shall we?

Ah diets, who likes them, do they really work, will the weight ultimately be gained back, oh who the hell knows. I just know for me, I feel a little uncomfortable with my figure, summer is coming, I want to trim down and will be wearing a bathing suit soon. I know it’s possible for me to lose weight, a significant amount actually, it’s just I have to learn how to do this safely without getting anxious. The scale is a very, very tricky thing for me, always has been. How to tame that monster I’m not sure yet.

So it’s back to a (loose) diet for me, I’ll let you know how it goes. One day at a time, the turtle wins the race. Gotta run, time to get ready for therapy. Enjoy the day!