Well good morning, dear reader(s), we are off to a chilly start here in my corner of the world. April in Ohio brings rollercoaster weather, cold one day, warm the next, it’s no wonder the flowers get confused and we don’t plant our annuals until mid-May. I’m planning a sweet potato lentil soup for dinner tonight, something to warm us up until temperatures increase later this week.
I had my monthly appointment with Dr. Levy yesterday, and I was sure to ask him about the correlation between my breakthrough anxiety attacks with this recent bout of Covid I went through. He said research has shown that whenever mental health patients go through respiratory infections—be it Covid or bronchitis or etc.—it can lead to increased anxiety or even depression. He assured me this resolves itself once the infection passes, so that gave me some relief. I am to continue adding an extra 400 mg of Gabapentin whenever I have one of these attacks in the future, and it’s nice knowing I have an ample supply on hand to help me through difficult times.
I must say I have noticed that ever since Covid, this “extra perception” I’ve been going through for the past 4 months has definitely eased off considerably. I’m not blaring YouTube and Q-FM 96 anymore, I’ve stopped working on my art (something I miss), I’m not talking to myself in the car, just all these things I had been doing don’t seem to interest me anymore. It makes me wonder if Covid ushered in a readjustment of reality for me—maybe facilitated my recovery trajectory from the October incident? I don’t know if such a thing is even possible…I’m just saying that I now feel more “normal” (or at least like I think a sanish person feels on a regular day). I guess I will see if this feeling lasts or changes in the weeks and months to come.
After speaking to Dr. Levy, I went out to visit mom for a bit, then headed over to see Nicole at her hair salon to have my hair highlighted and trimmed. I’m now sporting a lot of blonde, ready for summer I guess. Got home a little late to prepare dinner, so we had a frozen pizza instead. Then I had my Monday night AA Zoom with Shawn’s sponsees, which is always interesting. We discussed patience and changing people, places and things to protect your sobriety. I relayed my cautionary tale of what happened when I embarked on the Marijuana Maintenance Plan, and saw myself hospitalized not once, not three times, but nine times until I finally surrendered and gave up all substances. I hope my message reached some of the younger members of our group, and might save them from a relapse-ridden life like me.
Michael is headed out today to meet with our accountant, it’s Tax Day, and I am meeting Shawn at Starbucks for my weekly check-in and dose of spirituality. I’m taking Lily on a walk beforehand, see if the streets and alleys have any treasures for me to discover. I’m not sure if my artistic window has closed again—that happens—but I know from my writing if I just keep practicing at it, I can and do succeed.
Here’s hoping my anxiety remains at bay, my creative “spark” stays alive, and perhaps my wonderment with my surroundings continues. Gotta keep myself entertained. Everyone needs a laugh every now and then! From my corner of the world to yours—have a nice day.
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