Turn The Beat Around

 

Well good morning, dear reader(s), I awoke on the wrong side of the bed this morning, feeling muddled and slightly down in the dumps. But dear mom, I called her and she helped me turn my mood around, we did my Gratitude List, and I’m going to visit her this afternoon. I was depressed because I started thinking about the disabling effects of my medication—I have to be careful going down that path, because unchecked it can lead to tinkering with med dosages and getting very, very ill. Today I know without a shadow of doubt that everything hinges on med compliance and sobriety, that’s the key to the stability I have today.

I can sometimes forget the power a Gratitude List can have to readjust one’s thinking, or in my case, mood state. Compiling a brief inventory of what you are grateful for in the moment is very, very freeing and actually feels really good. I learned about the Gratitude List in AA, but one doesn’t have to be in AA to do one. Here’s mine for today:

Today I’m grateful for:

1. My sobriety

2. A roof over my head

3. My husband, mother, family and supportive friends

4. Medication compliance

5. My psychiatrist, therapist, and other doctors, plus AA sponsor Shawn

6. Beloved basset hound Lily 

7. My cooking skills

8. My art

9. Beautiful day today

10. My bad mood is gone!

***

We are going to see the final game of the Blue Jackets for the season tonight. They are playing Buffalo and everyone wants them to lose so we have a shot at getting the first pick in this year’s NHL draft. I think it’s rigged against us, however, we will never get that pick, so I’m rooting for our boys to win tonight. We defeated Pittsburg last night and I was absolutely delighted—Johnny Hockey Gaudreau got the game-winning goal in OT and it was sweet! I’m excited to be going to the Arena tonight, get my chicken fingers and maybe Michael will get us chocolate hockey pucks? What was I saying about a diet yesterday? Oh, who needs that tonight? Hee hee.

So my plan for this afternoon before the game is to shower, walk Lily, have a light lunch and go visit mom for a bit. I need to pick up the “Genesis” artwork I have at her house—I’d like to get that finished in time for the art show next month. My goal is to have “Genesis” and “My Mother, Myself” completed in time for the show. I think I have enough time, and I can work either here in the den or upstairs in the attic. With the nicer weather, Michael is outside on the porch, so I have room here downstairs if I want, which is nice. Ever since Covid, I have been feeling more “tethered” to reality, if that makes sense. Not blaring Q-FM as loudly, I doubt Broad Street will be as entertaining, oh well, guess floating back to Earth was inevitable at some point.

I’m even not playing YouTube games like I once did, kinda makes me sad, as I found those early a.m. romps entertaining. Maybe I’ll check in with YouTube before I head up to the shower. Cue up “Voices of Babylon” that’s a favorite, along with “Tell Me What’s On Your Mind.” Oh, it’s all good. Happy Friday, everyone, bring on the weekend, back here in Ohio. Just another bipolar here, saying, over and out!