Prompt: Flamingos aren’t naturally pink; they’re born a sort of grayish color. It’s their diet of brine shrimp and algae that turns them pink.
The Missing Pink Flamingo (DRAFT)
Welcome to my world in April 2023: I live in an old, historic neighborhood out here in Columbus, Ohio. Filled with Honeymoon cottages, townhomes, and brick lined streets and intriguing alleys, “German Village” is a big draw for tourists year round. My house sits on the corner of Purdy Alley and Columbus Street, a brick “Tennessee Williams” kind of place. The green trim paint is peeling and needs to be touched up, and maybe my husband should pull down the ivy that has snaked all over the backside of the house. It’s a house of character to be sure, and my husband proudly displays outside all the items he has found when out on his walks: lost sunglasses, Matchbox cars and other children’s toys, a Cadillac hubcap, he even brought home a Vespa rear view mirror one day.
I love to troll the alleys around here. Houses and garages line them, and they are interesting places with a character all their own. With my trusty, plump, Basset Hound Lily guiding the way, we weave our way down the back streets looking for adventure; maybe an interesting conversation with an old German resident who speaks broken English or perhaps we might locate something interesting on the ground that I can use in an artistic collage.
I started collecting things I find in the alley about 5 months ago when my husband asked me to create a piece of art for him for Christmas. Bits of trash, perhaps left by the trash truck, some crushed cans discarded, pieces of metal, bottle caps, just random things I come across during my walks. The trash tells a story all of its own, and I have been assembling collages for awhile now. I stick to three alleys here for my pickings: Purdy Alley, Macon Alley and Alexander Alley, and I know the houses and route by heart. Just call me a creature of habit.
Right down Purdy Alley from our place there lived a guy and his mutt, who used to have a plastic pink flamingo in his front rock garden. I absolutely loved that thing, it brought such flair and panache to the area. He may have had red chili pepper lights strung along his patio too, but I’m a little fuzzy on that detail (thank you middle age). I walked past this flamingo many times, and it was a beacon of sorts along my path.
But the flamingo wasn’t there long—just one day it was gone, vanished, and I wondered: Did someone steal it? Did the owner suddenly move away and take the flamingo with him? I leaned towards the former idea, that someone nicked it, I mean aren’t these plastic pink flamingos ripe for the taking by some drunken passerby, wandering down the alley in the dead of night? Yup. Oh pink flamingo, you are so whimsical and entertaining, yet so vulnerable to theft!
We have had a few things stolen from our yard over the years: a bike, my Dad’s old stereo I inherited when he died, some tools from our shed. Like any pricey neighborhood, this area attracts thieves, those “porch pirates” stealing Amazon packages being the latest nuisance to crop up since the Covid pandemic hit in 2020. And then there are those characters who creep in during the 3:00 a.m. hour and saw catalytic converters off of cars—we lost ours last summer, and boy was my husband pissed when he discovered it. No use filing a police report, the cops are too busy tracking down serious offenders.
But random crime aside, German Village is a delightful place to call home. I met my husband here down at the old Cup ‘O Joe coffeehouse almost 25 years ago. We’ve both been residing here for a very long time, and cannot imagine living anywhere else in Columbus. Together we’ve raised four Basset Hounds, a breed we adore, but much to some neighbors’ chagrin given the howling hounds are known for, which can definitely at times disturb the peace.
I’m thinking about plastic pink flamingos today, and now I really want to have one in my rock garden. I wonder where I might find one. Amazon? Probably. I think it would fit right in with all the odd collectibles here on display at the house. I just checked Amazon and I can get two small flamingos for $9.99, seems like a good price. Do I pull the trigger and order them? Perhaps I should ask my husband first. Add it to my list of things to do for the summer. A list that is getting long. Remember to practice patience, Melissa, like we discussed in our AA meeting tonight. Oh pink flamingo, are you just a passing fancy? Or are you looking for a new place to call home?
All in good time. Good things come to those who wait.
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